Second Campaigner Challenge

March 6, 2012 by laurenwaters

Yes, I have figured out how these campaigns work, and unfortunately I didn’t sign up in time to be eligible to win any places. Still, I find it so much fun and it’s so exciting to see how all the other writers handle the challenge—even though I’m not a contender.

This last challenge was a real doozy. Here are the rules taken from Rach Writes’ Blog:

Use one or some or all of these prompts

Prompt 1:

Two people are sitting together under the remains of a concrete bridge. Their backs are against a rusted bridge support. One person’s leg is cut. The other person has wet hair.

Prompt 2:

Prompt 3

Prompt 4

Prompt 5

Do one or more of the following:

1. Write a pitch/logline for a book based on the prompts (less than 100 words)
2. Write a short story/flash fiction piece of less than 200 words based on the prompts
3. Write a poem with a twist using the prompts as inspiration (in less than 200 words)
4. Write a story/poem in five sentences, each sentence based on one of the prompts
5. Write a poem/flash fiction piece (in less than 200 words) about the water pear *without* using the words “pear”, “spoon”, or “droplet”.

Here’s my go at it.

Hero

As I watch from a bridge where seagulls soar,
the sun-kissed children searching rocky shore,
a squeal spins me to a red coat flashing by,
after an orb-like ball the wind let fly.

The small boy’s parents, busy with friends,
neglect to see the ball roll off the bridge’s end.
Luring the boy after, beneath my frozen stare,
the flash of red splashes—a dreadful water pear.

Darting to the edge, I barely take a breath,
don’t calculate the jump, don’t even think of death.
The water much further, more time regretting the fall,
pieces of me scream and shatter, as I hit the liquid wall.

The spot of red floats beneath, the glue-water hard to stir,
I reach the boy and struggle, up under the bridge in a blur.
Against a rusted support, I tiredly slump and stare,
at the red river trickling, from my leg’s deep tear.

The boy lets out a panicked cry,
as the water drips from his hair to his eyes.
“You’re safe now.” I try, searching for aid,
as a flash sparks before us—a glimmering cascade.

A tunnel of living light—heaven’s hall,
a knowing tear burns…I didn’t save us after all.

Posted in Blogging | Tagged Campaigner Challenge | 39 Comments

39 Responses

on March 6, 2012 at 9:46 am | Reply Morgan Shamy

THIS. IS. SO. CLEVER!!!!

Lauren, I loved this. The fluidity was awesome and the story clear—loved the pair-shaped water splash! And the emotion was there. Off to go vote for this! You are awesome 😉
- on March 6, 2012 at 9:53 am | Reply laurenwaters
  
  Thanks Morgan! I truly, truly loved yours and you finished it so fast! How do you do that!
on March 6, 2012 at 1:54 pm | Reply Liza

Well done…nice twist! (#30). Hey, I started doing these last year when I wasn’t a campaigner then either…the prizes are nice, but I’m with you. The prompts and the writing they generate are a blast!
- on March 7, 2012 at 8:28 am | Reply laurenwaters
  
  Thanks Lisa! I was thinking it might be more enjoyable this way—no pressure. I really do learn so much from seeing how other writers tackle the challenge.
  - on March 7, 2012 at 8:37 am laurenwaters
    
    What am I saying? I just read the prizes from the first challenge and I want in!
on March 6, 2012 at 3:20 pm | Reply Cynthia

I like the way you incorporated suspense into your poem. I’m glad they ended up in heaven, and not the other place. Thanks for sharing!

#35
- on March 7, 2012 at 8:29 am | Reply laurenwaters
  
  Right, it could have been worse! Thanks Cynthia!
on March 6, 2012 at 4:26 pm | Reply Julia King

Great job, Lauren. Poetry is way hard and you made it all rhyme. Very proud.
- on March 7, 2012 at 8:33 am | Reply laurenwaters
  
  Thanks Julia! I loved your sci-fi take. So well done.
on March 6, 2012 at 7:31 pm | Reply Sara Flower

Wow! The whole piece kept me on my toes and then the twist at the end is delightfully dark.
- on March 7, 2012 at 8:56 am | Reply laurenwaters
  
  Thanks so much Sara! You’ve got me hooked on this now 🙂
on March 6, 2012 at 11:44 pm | Reply Ashley Nixon

Oh man. 😦
I didn’t expect that ending.
I like how you used the pear–that was very nice, the whole thing was!
- on March 7, 2012 at 9:01 am | Reply laurenwaters
  
  Thanks Ashley! I enjoyed yours as well. It seems that these prompts tend to lead people to depressing endings.
on March 7, 2012 at 10:58 am | Reply Sally

A brilliant poem – I loved it. I’ve tried a poem as well #47 New follower by the way.
- on March 7, 2012 at 9:25 pm | Reply laurenwaters
  
  Thanks so much Sally! I loved your poem as well. I’m so glad you’re following me 🙂
on March 7, 2012 at 5:06 pm | Reply Gwen Tolios (@GwenTolios)

Gah, you’re amazing. You rhymed and everything! (I can’t do that. I can’t really write poetry at all :/) And what a sad, depressing twist. I loved your descriptions too, calling the water glue and the splash a pear. You’re totally getting a vote form me.

#38
- on March 7, 2012 at 9:54 pm | Reply laurenwaters
  
  My campaign neighbor! Thanks so much Gwen. That means a lot coming from someone who writes such fantastic poetry. I loved your poem 🙂
on March 8, 2012 at 4:09 pm | Reply Kevin Hiatt

Wow. So..freaking.. cool. This was just a success in all senses of the word. Loved it loved it loved it. Seriously.. just so very impressed. Absolutely throwing a ‘like’ you way on that one!!

Kevin, (#19)
- on March 8, 2012 at 6:54 pm | Reply laurenwaters
  
  Thanks Kevin! Coming from the last challenge’s double winner, that means so much. This campaigning is so supportive. I’m hooked 🙂
on March 9, 2012 at 6:13 pm | Reply C.M. Brown

What a great poem! I really enjoyed it and what a twist! I didn’t expect it!
- on March 10, 2012 at 9:47 am | Reply laurenwaters
  
  C.M. I’m so glad I surprised you! You always take a chance with twist that they might fall flat. This challenge has been so much fun.
on March 9, 2012 at 8:02 pm | Reply Nick Wilford

This was very physical. I could imagine everything as I was reading it. And what a devastating twist, very effective. Well done!
- on March 10, 2012 at 9:42 am | Reply laurenwaters
  
  Thanks so much Nick! I really loved your cliffhanger.
on March 10, 2012 at 8:33 am | Reply tara tyler

yours was so good, we are putting you thru to stage 2 of judging! excellent job!
- on March 10, 2012 at 9:22 am | Reply laurenwaters
  
  Thank you so much Tara! I hate to have to bring up the fact that I never signed up for the challenge by Feb 25th. I just jumped into all the fun with the fourth challenge. I would love to go through, but I don’t want to take the place of someone who has officially joined up. You’ve made my day though!
on March 10, 2012 at 3:32 pm | Reply Sara Flower

You have been tagged on my latest blog post! 🙂
on March 10, 2012 at 10:56 pm | Reply C.B. Wentworth

Very nice! Those last two lines really pack a punch! 🙂
- on March 10, 2012 at 11:26 pm | Reply laurenwaters
  
  Thanks so much C.B.!
on March 12, 2012 at 11:52 am | Reply tracikenworth

Very nice!! I love the glimpse of heaven’s hall at the end.
- on March 12, 2012 at 4:24 pm | Reply laurenwaters
  
  Thanks Traci!
on March 12, 2012 at 3:15 pm | Reply Melodie

Wow – LOVE this, Lauren. You’ve been moved to the semi-final round of judging. Congrats and good luck!
- on March 12, 2012 at 4:16 pm | Reply laurenwaters
  
  Thanks so much Melodie!I’m so glad you enjoyed it 🙂
on March 12, 2012 at 6:20 pm | Reply Jocelyn Rish

You did a great job incorporating the prompts, and the rhythm and rhyme flow really well. And the twist ending was sad, but earned. Lovely piece!
- on March 12, 2012 at 8:03 pm | Reply laurenwaters
  
  You are too kind, Jocelyn. Thank you.
on March 12, 2012 at 11:15 pm | Reply K. S. Collier

Wow! I love the surprise ending. This was a beautiful poem. I felt so much emotion and saw the story play out in my mind. Great job! I love the way you tied the prompts together.
- on March 17, 2012 at 10:00 am | Reply laurenwaters
  
  Thank you, K.S. It means so much to me that people liked it.
on March 23, 2012 at 5:17 am | Reply Kathy S. Collier-Mehl

Dear Lauren: You have been tagged in the Seven Meme Fourth Writers’ Campaign. I’m late getting mine out because of family emergencies this month. You will like this one. Try it out! Copy it from my site.
on March 26, 2012 at 6:26 am | Reply Kathy S. Collier-Mehl

I just read your poem again, and I can’t tell you how this touched my heart. I am not a poetry writer. I’ve tried my hand at it, but it doesn’t flow like this. What a beautiful poem.
- on March 26, 2012 at 9:08 am | Reply laurenwaters
  
  This means so much to me, Kathy. I used to only write poetry when I was younger and I’ve put it away for writing novels. It was so nice to get the chance to pick it up again, and to have people feel it, means the world to me.